One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
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