Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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