is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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