Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
two words...techno handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I enjoy the company of your penis
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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