I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
