White coat. Heels.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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