I think I died a long time ago.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I just blew my weed a kiss
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
So much rum. So many feels.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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