I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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