my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
being pregnant is like rehab
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
