I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
