yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Randomize
