is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
