Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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