So drunk its hurt
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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