so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
3 2 1 whiskey
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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