Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
