Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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