I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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