I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize