Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
