Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
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so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
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I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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