ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
