he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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