Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Randomize