Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
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