I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
