Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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