So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
