I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
