I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
