my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
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when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
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