What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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