HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
