oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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