Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
