Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize