You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
