I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize