Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Randomize
