did you get engaged???
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
