You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
