I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Randomize
