I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Randomize