That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
