You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
