Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize