Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
