I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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