i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
