Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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