He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
