I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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