READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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