Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Randomize
