If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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