the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
