So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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