that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I have already put on my inside pants.
Randomize
