it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
God, I missed his penis.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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